you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize