I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize