I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
