So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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