the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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