If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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