Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
