Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
