we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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