Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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