after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
