Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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