It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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