I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
