Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
