well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I smell stomach acid.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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