For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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