did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize