her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
