lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
