I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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