The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
