You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
