Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hippo gnu deer
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
