I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
