my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
