i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
