Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
