you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
