She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
