Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
