I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
