Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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