3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize