I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
