I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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