One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
