I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
