Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
