please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
