Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
