Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
