Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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