let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
