My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
