As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But break dance skills will only take you so far
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
