I wannas sexs uuuuu
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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