i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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