in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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