hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
