Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
