why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
