I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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