and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize