and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
