Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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