there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
