If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
