Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
