i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
