the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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