im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
