Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
